Rooting for it!

How you know when you're waaayyyy too happy about a recent trip to the Endodontist? First you write a poem about your root canal, then you sing it so much it gets stuck in your head AND your husband's, then you make your computer's speak program sing it to you when you tire of your own voice, then you record the computer and put it on your blog. That's how you know.
Listen to my root canal poem/song: ("Alex" the computer voice doesn't know how to say the word "Nasties". Silly computer.) The Lyrics are below, sing along...you know you want to....

No one's ever loved a root canal
Like I loved getting a root canal.
A root canal can be a gal's best friend.
When your head is throbbing
and you're sick of sobbing,
A root canal can make the nasties end.

A root canal's a lovely thing
if all you want to do is sing
instead of moaning curled up on the kitchen floor.
Drilling teeth's not usually so fun
But you'll be glad when it is done
and wish that you could go for 7 more.

Cause a root canal is over looked,
other vacations all are booked,
But the dentist's chair's relaxing in the end.
If your teeth are screaming mad,
your cavities are awful bad,
A root canal can be a gal's best friend.

Oh drill me
Then fill me
Poke holes in my back tooth.
Then crown me
Don't frown see
I'm better off it's truth!

No one's ever loved a root canal
Like I loved getting a root canal.
A root canal can be a gal's best friend.
When your jaw is killing you,
and another day you can't get through,
A root canal can make the nasties end!

Cravings assuaged poetically

Oh where art
My butter tart
In these United States?
The sticky treat
I long to eat,
and my desire sate.
Look everywhere
the shelves are bare
people's brows are raisin'
Yes that's right
Raisin delight,
Is the tart I'm praisin'.
I've been known
to make my own
When a craving surges!
A bit of crust,
sugar's a must,
A butter tart emerges.

(Heaven is located just under this raisin)

An UN-ode to spell check....

Pile'O Dead Monkeys!

lets kill the monkeys
that's just what we will do
we don't need the monkeys
but we need the monkey stew

we'll throw their bodies in a heap
their bones into a pot
we'll wait till they are all sleep
then murderize the lot

cause we don't need the monkeys
so here's what we should do
we'll kill all the monkeys
use their bones for monkey stew

now the monkeys all are dead
our bellies full and fat
but now we're bored and all alone
we didn't think of that

we killed all of the monkeys
made their bones into a stew
we killed all of the monkeys
and there's nothing left to do......


This should go without saying but the author of this poem wishes no ill will towards any monkeys.

A Poetically Perfect Meal...

Ode to Chili Gravy....
to the speckled creaminess that is your very existence
to thy savoriness that doth cling to every bite.
the rich and thick puddles of your steaming self,
a battle with my taste-buds that I do not wish to fight.
where have you been all my life chili gravy?
that it should be now you bring me light
to a previously empty, flavorless Tex-Mex existence...
you fill my heart and plate with chili gravy delight!

Margarita, Margarita how you fill my heart with heat
wildly dancing in my mouth, join me in a bite to eat
how you make my lips pucker for a sweet and tarty kiss
Margarita, Margarita you sweet and sour bit of bliss

Oh... the loaded enchilada
or a wet burrito if you will
the freaking amazingness of you
gives my menu quite a thrill
ooey, gooey and smothered in sauce
of course the chili gravy kind
filled with cheese and peppers
how you blow my culinary mind
cilantro is your purfume
while onions are your date
join me and my tomatoes
it's time that you were ate