Floss-ophy

Ya gotta look at the little picture.
If you look too hard and too long at the big picture of life you'll just develop a twitch along side an overwhelming urge to hide under the bed. And I could do it too. Ever since I got those bed risers that lift the bed another half foot off the floor I've been very aware of how easy it is to crawl under there and just...chill....be at one with the dust bunnies and lost cat toys and ouiji board (cause every one has one of those under their bed right?)
The idea behind bed risers is more storage space, the un-spoken underlying idea that they don't mention in those commercials and Bed Bath and Beyond flyers is that the storage is for you!
When you look too hard at the big picture of life and sensory overload is imminent, the dark and dusty and surprisingly cool coffin like confines of the under-the-bed-ness is just a belly crawl away. Waiting like a secret hug from your furniture. Ahhhh...
Luckily my husband doesn't find me under there too often, striped socks peeking from under the bed skirt giving away my position as I hum and contemplate putting glow in the dark stars under our box spring to complete that *drifting in the dark void of space* feeling that relaxing under the bed offers.
I can avoid that *hide from the world and all it's annoying problems* feeling by deliberately NOT looking at the big picture. Instead I narrow my vision until I'm practically microscopic eyes woman and look at something small. Something manageable.
The earth could spin off it's access, spewing it's excessive piles of non-recyclable garbage out into space like a great vomiting orb of humanity infested planetoid that it is and I'd be ok, because I'd be there relaxing under my bed marveling at the ingeniousness of my tooth flosser. (I like how I felt compelled to specify TOOTH flosser as if I flossed other things and didn't want there to be any confusion as to what sort of flosser I was speaking of)
I try not to incur the wrath of my dentist. No one can lay a guilt trip on you faster than
1) a Mom,
2) any puppy from any animal shelter commercial and
3) your dentist.
Mine suggested I floss more and I agreed, what with him having shiny, sharp, pointed objects in my mouth at the time of the afore mentioned suggestion. Also, annoying mouth maintenance chores like flossing are less annoying after you're grown up and have already sunk thousands of dollars into your mouth in tooth repair. *gulp* If there's anything I would do with a time machine it's go back in time and slap the crap outta me for not flossing when I was 6.
BUT I am pleased to say 31 year old me needs no slapping!
I've been very diligent and with the use of these little clip on to a handle type disposable, pre threaded floss dealies was actually getting the hang of every day flossing with out it being a 4 hour event that ended with me cutting off the circulation in my finger tips from knotted and tangled floss. Let me just state that only people with giant mouths and little hands can floss their teeth easily and un-painfully with JUST floss. So, hence the need for a flosser doo-hickey and of course as I started using those little plastic doohickies that clipped into the handle I started feeling the weight of them on my conscience as I threw them away. As a crafter there's only so many things I can save to reuse and make arty stuff out of and I draw the line at used tooth flossers.
They're so small, just a little "C" shaped bit of plastic with floss threaded between but those little bits of plastic add up. Sure there are oil spills and toxic waste dumps and Styrofoam everything littering endless miles of road in North America, there's plastic bags clinging to tree branches like alien flowers, there's massive piles of STUFF every where that needs addressed or else it'll choke us off this planet in another few generations but....I can't always think about the BIG picture or else I'll need a little recuperation time under the bed again.
But the little picture, totally doable. I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna pull out a tired phrase and use it one more time and squeeze out every last bit of usability from it, I make the LITTLE picture my beeeeeotch.
I decided to put my foot down and refuse to believe that my only tooth flossing options were disposable flossers that I could actually use without cutting my lips and pinching my fingers OR just regular floss that meant I had to start playing favorites with my teeth, no attention for you molars. No!
This is why the internet is my best friend. Like seriously don't ask me to start rating family and friends and the internet in my life because the top 2 positions would create world war 3 and some shunning the likes of which the world has never seen. But suffice it to say I think of an idea, a product and I ask my bestest non-carbon based friend if such a thing exists and it tells me YESSSSSSS. (I should say I feel sort of guilty at the amount of love and slobberly attention I bestow upon my monitor because I know in my heart of hearts it's not actually responsible for all the awesomeness it displays. But my computer is all tied up inside and behind the monitor and what am I supposed to do? Tell the screen this hug isn't for you, pass it along? You're beginning to see the allure of the underside of my bed now aren't you?)
But as I was saying I found it. The holy grail of teeth flossing........*insert respectful moment of silence here*.....a RE-THREADABLE FLOSSER!
A plastic handle that should in theory last for fricking ever, probably longer than human teeth actually, and it can be threaded and unthreaded and it's soooooo easy to use that it causes a person to make inappropriate sounds of pleasure from performing the most hated of dental chores.
Now of course the only thing I need to do is look a little harder at my floss because I have heard tell there are eco-friendly options available for it too. Sweet. I can not fix the world but I can fix my negative impact upon it. One itty bitty bit of dental waste at a time.
Today is a good day, definitely a nap on top of the bed and not under it sort of day thanks to my new Flossaid Dental Floss Holder!