Post-Apocalypticness

I do not want to live in a post apocalyptic society.
Or even in a post apocalyptic world that is society-less.
In fact on the list of things I don't want to experience, post apocalypticness is rated very high. Somewhere between laser eye surgery and snake juggling.
And yet I keep things, things I imagine I will need some day. Not tomorrow, not the next day not even 10 years from now but things that would be very handy if suddenly the human race goes boom locka boom and I find myself living in a world that is totally wiped clean of it's technological advances. No electricity, no computers, no phones, no nothing. Strangely enough I never imagine rubble so maybe it's not post apocalypticness I am preparing for but one of them polar magnetic shifts.
The kind the scientists fret over and say will wreak havoc with all of our satellites etc should suddenly the magnetic poles ever get tired of their current magnetic status and decide to switch themselves around.
Can you imagine? I mean I know I can but can you?
So much stuff is tied up with our computers and the internet and televisions and phones that really I feel we ought to be addressing bigger issues than politics and be thinking hard about our technological marriages. We're all polygamists now, me, my hubby and apple computers are living a very happy little life together. And if it's a sin then send me to hell baby.
We research anything and everything at the drop of a hat. We know how much it will cost to run one of those jet packs that run off of hydrogen peroxide and how high we could fly and we can switch tabs and peer mournfully at our bank accounts because jet pack funds are damn hard to grow. We look up what's going to be on tv, then we watch tv ON the computer and we record ourselves and post ourselves on Youtube so other people can watch us. We get recipes and jokes and more fricking stories about Jesus, no offense son of God but you are one popular email forward, than we ever thought we'd need.
So if the earth goes boom locka boom. We are screwed.
How will I know how to make homemade pasta? Or how to change a light fixture or find alternate words for awesome if the world goes boom locka boom?
I'd be forced to rely on the material possessions I have already accumulated.
Now I don't want or need a fallout type shelter. I'm not crazy, just wondering when I stare at an old dictionary and thesaurus that takes up room on my bookshelf and have LITERALLY never had their spines cracked open in this house, why I am keeping them? I look everything I need or want to know up on the internet.
But my hand hesitates, hovering over the faded yellow pages of a book that isn't even old enough to be an antique but is probably old enough to not know the definition of cool as "having qualities of supreme awesomeness". I can't quite recycle it or donate it because maybe I'll need it.
But when?
When would I ever go to the bookshelf instead of using a quick flick of my computer mouse to open another tab in my internet browser and look up my favorite thesaurus site to find alternate words for slimy. Never.........unless......unless the world went boom locka boom and I found myself bored out of my skull because the television was now being used as a doorstop and I had read all of the pocket novels in our bookshelves 18 times each already and there was NO access to any fresh material from my favorite authors because they too were experiencing the boom locka boom and distributing and printing new materials was given up for more practical concerns like researching alternative toilet paper sources and trying to survive in the post apocalyptic magnetic whatchmacallit time.
So THEN, I may be tempted to do some writing along the edges of the paperbacks we already owned and in between the lines, basically entering a new story into the the pages thereby turning the paperback into two books instead of one. And THEN I may have desperate need for a thesaurus because at that point in time my brain will be older and slower and also will have had the words "Holy fricking cow on a stick" etched into the ol' grey matter as will the rest of the world, having experienced the complete and utter breakdown of our technological side of society and all and so a thesaurus will be a very handy thing.
Perhaps in our neighborhood I will be the only person with a thesaurus and what with the world suddenly shrinking in communications size, to basically you communicated with to who could hear you hollering, my thesaurus might provide some level of stature.
Perhaps I shall be crowned the queen of words and I can start a wee little monarchy.
Perhaps a post apolaclyptic society won't be all bad, abominable, atrocious, awful, corked, corky, counterfeit, crappy, defective, deplorable, distressing, dreadful, evil, fearful, forged, frightful, hard, harmful, high-risk, hopeless, horrid or icky after all.