Rising to the Occasion.

Alan and I have spent considerable time and resources trying to levitate and to no avail. I am thinking it is time to throw in the towel. We had been so inspired after watching the televised documentary on Meditational Flying that we immediately threw ourselves into a 3 and a half year program to learn this technique. End result?
Pbbbbbtttt.
What a rip off. Our instructor (internet instructor) held web cam classes every Friday evening at 8 and we faithfully followed every single exercise. We eliminated white flour from our diet, we wore only blue on Sundays, if we drank alcohol we followed every sip with a grain of salt, we played Ondarian chants on the cd player when we slept but the hardest thing of all was sticking to the strict exercise routine that consisted of stretching our leg muscles before and after every levitating attempt.
Did it work? No. Damn it.
I am so saddened by the lack of levitational progress we have made. If we were a loaf of bread I'd say we were a flat, dense, doughy mass that had no evidence of leavening power in us at all.
We had been considering abandoning our practice for a few months now but like any habit, after investing so much time and materials in to it we kept saying "one more week" or "one more month" or "one more meal of light consumed under a full moon."
The bottom line is, did we levitate? Even a little? Alan thought he felt a little lighter one evening after the 10 minutes of meditation followed by the stretching exercises and Ondarian wine. I am inclined to believe it was the partaking of Ondarian wine on an empty stomach after straining to levitate for a full 20 minutes that led to his feeling lighter.
I suppose I do feel lighter in one respect over all, dropping a few thousand dollars on cds, instructional videos and levitation classes over the course of 3 years will do that to a person.
Over all the experience was fun and educational. I'd highly recommend the process to any one with an interest in unusual meditation techniques and a fondness for Ondarian wine (a sort of fennel seed and vinegar based honey wine). Though I warn you that our levitational success was limited our knowledge of internet based levitational classes is much greater than it was 3 years a go.
We've been thinking of beginning classes ourselves, teaching Ondarian levitation techniques, to willing students. Of course at a fraction of the price of the official Ondarian classes. If you have an interest in levitating, Ondarian wine and Friday night rituals consisting of web cam instructional classes on propper leg stretching and inner enlightened meditational tecnhiques please let us know.