Eyeing My Memories.....

When I picture my late Grandma Shirley I always see her faded blue eyes, looking at me, a small smile on her face. There were other things about Grandma that really stood out, her love of a good bargain, a handy treat every time I visited, calling me baby doll...... But always my memory zeros in on her blue eyes, a sort of sweetly vacant expression in them.
Alzheimer's does that.
So, imagine my shock when I recently had a dream about Grandma's blue eyes and in the retelling to my Mother she says "they were brown."
What?
I mean what the F*%$?
All these years, I would have swore on a stack of anything you want me to swear on that Grandma had blue eyes.
I have memories of her and crucial parts of those memories involve her faded blue eyes.
I have had 3 or 4 dreams of Grandma Shirley since she passed away many years ago, and in 3 of those dreams a key part was her blue eyes. They were the star of my Grandma Shirley dreams.
Because in each of those 3 memorable dreams she would turn and stare at me, but unlike real life her eyes are vivid blue, incredibly sharp in colour and mental alertness. Intelligence and humor I could see and an awareness I don't think I remember in real life.
Alzheimer's takes that a way.
The last dream I had, literally last week, my husband and I are living in some house I don't recognize and suddenly all these people show up. Relatives I haven't seen in years. It's practically a party. Some one says Grandma Shirley is here. I get excited because I want to see her, in my dream I don't remember she's no longer with us.
In my dream my Grandma doesn't look much like she did in real life, but I know it is her. She is tall and thinner but she turns and stares at me with the most amazing blue eyes. In fact they are huge, almost one and half times the size they should be, they are so blue they start edging towards green. We stand, about 2 inches apart and she stares into my eyes and I in to hers. As before, in other dreams her eyes are sharp, they are aware and it feels good to look in to them. Then the moment passes, the dream progresses, I start looking for a coffee pot big enough to make coffee for a crowd because I know my little bialetti won't make enough.
I wake up.
I tell my mom about the dream the next day and just like that the fabric of my reality and memories is torn, just a little bit.
Brown eyes...not blue?
I confer with cousins, their Mother is Grandma's daughter.
Interestingly enough one cousin says blue, the other brown.
At the end of the day the general consensus is that Grandma had brown eyes.
Ummmmm........so......my brain just made that up? The whole blue eyed thing? Why? What's the purpose? The fact that I had significant dreams that I remember clearly, that showcased her blue eyes supports my entire belief in her eye colour.
I could have passed a lie detector test, I was that convinced.
A wee part of me is still convinced they were blue and that all those other relatives are the wrong ones.
They might possibly be conspiring against me...Hmmmmmmmmm.......
Or maybe they were blue in another time line and I have shifted from that to an alternate one where her eyes were brown. (I think like this, it's true.)
My cousin has a theory that Grandma's cataracts made her eyes faded looking and that might have made me think of them as blue.
But if I could be so wrong about Grandma's eyes then maybe every one else could be so wrong as well. Good golly, Grandma is laughing her ass off some where in the great beyond because her eyes were probably green or something.
Now I am stuck though, I can't photoshop my memories. I can't just change her eyes to brown, they are blue in every picture I conjure in my brain.
Makes me wonder what other things a person could be so wrong about about, utterly believing a false thing and being entirely convinced it is truth.
Kind of freaky.
I am going to go look in the mirror now to double check on my own eyes..umm..brownish with a bit of greenish right?
*sigh of relief...*
yep, they are.......for now.....I'm going to keep my eye on them.
p.s. Alan's are still blue too, thank goodness, as I'm partial to his pretty blueberry eyes.