Recycling: "or how people suck"

Some of my trash takes a trip to heaven every week. It's a known fact (at least in my own head) that trash yearns to be reincarnated. Wouldn't you? I much prefer the idea of coming back in a new form after I pass on rather then just lying like a lump some where. The other can of trash, though I'm pleased to say is a lot less then the recyclables, is sent off to much less enjoyable afterlife. Poor trash. In fact it's afterlife pretty much sucks, buried in a lined hole for eternity or at least till the futuristic generations dig it up to marvel at how stupid every one was in the past.
"Look at that, straws! You use them once for a short period of time with the full intention of throwing them in the garbage to be buried. Can you believe we came from those imbecilic idiots?"
*insert rant about stupid human race producing non recyclable everything and burying all our waste in big holes here*
It's too exhausting to write how frustrating it all is but on the positive side I'm recycling more now then I used to. I buy products more often based on their packaging. Spices in containers I can recycle, same with milk. There's a lot of things that can be done with a little effort and thought so that makes me feel good. Plus how much good karma am I building up by being less responsible for the pollution of the planet then every one else? Sweeeeet. hahaha Nothing like doing a good deed for the glory of it. I'm gonna get tshirts made:
"My trash kicks your trash's ass"