Super Lessons from Mario: PATIENCE

What I've learned from playing Mario...not like playing him for the fool..but you know making him hop and bounce on turtle heads....
Oh and if you have never played any Super Mario game then not only are you just plain wrong in so many ways but you are probably still back at *bouncing on turtle heads* I'm not even sure I want the likes of some one like you who hasn't experienced the bliss of a super mario game reading my lament anyways... so...just shut yer eyes for now, I'll tell you when it's safe to open them again.
So anyways mostly it's patience I've learned...
And not just from the actual game play but from having to wait for it.
Like when you're so desperate for the new Mario game, that you know the date it is released better then family member's birthdays, you have to learn to have a little patience....
calling the nice folks at Best Buy, 7 times a day, disguising your voice and asking each time "are you sure you don't have secret copies of the game for famous people hidden in the back room" is NOT patience....
Sitting on your hands and biting your lips with your eyes closed whilst your husband hides the phone IS patience.... BUT dang it whhhhhyyyy do they even have to tell us poor miserable Mario Lovers the date the game is released...so I can count each day in agony and horrendous angst awaiting the arrival of Super Mario the way I used to wait for Santa...starting in June.....
I suppose I didn't have to look up the release date...but who are they kidding...they know I'm not strong...that I can't hold out against a squat Italian plumber ..... still talking bout Mario here.
They should have kept that info to themselves instead of gleefully spreading the word that Super Paper Mario gets released April 9th, 2007...and when it's still November....2006.....you scream in agony and beat your computer screen with angry albeit it gentle fists.


Days drag by with a slow creeping dullness when Mario is so close...yet still so far away. When it's November 2006 you can't even say "I'll be playing Mario in just a few weeks...a few short weeks..." Cause no..it's not till next bloody year that those in charge are so kind as to release the game...yep..release it...cause I just know they've had it all this time, playing Mario, getting their dirty eye prints all over him while I sit here....Best Buy on speed dial...waiting.....
And then April 9th arrives with all the speed of a snail through molasses on a cold day in hell and you dress in your finest of finery...contemplating whether this is the right occasion to bring out your wedding dress again or should that be kept for Super Mario Galaxy...another game entirely...wanting to look your best for such a special occasion.


Arriving at the store in record speeds on this glorious of glorious April 9th's 2007...waiting anxiously in the car whilst your sweetie runs into the store...(a few phone calls too many gets your picture up in the employee lounge and it's not for being customer of the week...more of a where's waldo type scenerio that could land you in a lot of hot water....by the by...you can not threaten to to jump on Best Buy employees heads or throw turtles at them....so I hear)
And then Alan returns to the car and you laugh because he's empty handed...and giggle at the seriousness on his face...and cackle at his hilarity at hiding the game upon his person so as to prolong the anticipation, and he says no "It's not out till tomorrow" and you shake your head in denial and laugh a little more although a bit desperately this time and shoot darting glances at the store, fidgeting in your seat and muttering "It's just a joke, it's just a joke, it's just a joke"
But you know.
Deep in that special part of your heart reserved for Mario you know what your sweetie is saying is true...and you weep...the pair of you in the car under a palm tree, wadded piles of tissues in your laps, flipping the finger to any one who so much as looks like they work at Best Buy or could have at some point......
And then you drive home in a state of utter exhaustion.....too drained to climb the stairs, collapsing on the steps in a sorrowful heap, clinging to each other and murmmering "Mario, Mario"
So...like I said. Patience.
I'm actually kind of glad the release of the game was some how mysteriously delayed for a day.
Yeahhhhh.
I feel like I've grown as a person because of this trying time. And I've learned a few other things along this bumpy road to the new Super Mario game....like that sitting on the steps till well after dark will result in a multitude of snails clinging to one's body, that I scream like a girl, that ice cream and chocolate will ease the ache...just a little, and cheese cake will ease it a little more after that.
And that I can buy the new Super Paper Mario at Toys R Us tomorrow instead of Best Buy if for some reason......hee hee......some unfathomable reason there's some issue with us being within 300 feet of the store and it's employees.


p.s. (written after initial Mario Patience lament) we have acquired the new Paper Mario Video game through fairly legal means and are thrilled to have this hellish await for it at an end....now.....waiting for the release of Super Mario Galaxy (hopefully the dirty eye prints will be kept to a minimum)