I NEED NO KNEAD.....

I could easily crawl right inside one of those soft, little bread dimples and live happily ever after with my sweetie. We could chew our way through the loaf like ants, make all kinds of soft, squishy rooms to live in....if only.......


Some days I'm a sheep. A happy, fluffy sheep contentedly mingling amongst me fellow fluffy sheeps. (deliberately added the *s* at the end of sheep, aint it more cute that way?)
You know how in the cartoons, the sheep will follow each other right off the edge of a cliff? Well some days it's nice to be the first sheep to make that leap...and others, well I'm contented to just go along for the ride...er free fall and see what all the fuss is about.
Which brings me to bread.
I need no knead bread.
I have read waaaaaay too much about "no knead" bread in the last couple weeks to keep up this false pretense......that I'm indifferent to all me fellow sheep leaping off the cliff into the world of "no knead" breads.
What IS all the fuss about....??? I don't even care that a zillion other sheep have already blogged their first forays into the magical world of no knead breads. So many have done this so why add one more blog to the batch??? BECAUSE.....
Damn it, because you all aren't reading all those other blogs. Blogging is like spreading a virus. Let me infect you me dear family and friends with the joys of "no knead" breads.
So as you can tell from the name it's bread........that you do NOT knead...need yes...knead no.
Actual bread, not knock off biscuits masquerading as bread either. Actual bread.
Apparently this whole sheep, cliff diving, no knead bread craze started with a column by Mark Bittman who adapted the recipe from Jim Lahey of the Sullivan Street Bakery. O.k., covered my posterior well enough here for y'all to understand that give credit where credit is due. Hmm..well maybe just a certain amount of credit cause I don't know where HE got the recipe.....but HE is the one who has ignited this "no knead" craze. Oh yes it's a craze!!! Go ahead and type in "no knead bread" in to the search engine of your choice and become quickly disillusioned in my own genius as you see the umpteen zillion articles and blogs boasting, bragging and baking no knead bread...and *sniff*.....*sniff sniff*.......ALL before me........
wahhhhhhhhhhh.
So I read the recipe (which you can find EVERY where on the internet, but I am too un-sheep like in this one respect, to post it here with out permission first)
But basically you mix up some flour, salt, water and the itty bitty-est bit of yeast and LEAVE alone for 18 hours. Then you fondle it a bit after that period of time (in no way does this fondling resemble kneading either, its just transferring the dough to a flourerd surface, shaping it etc) Let it rise for a couple more hours, bake it up...and........
HOLY FREAKING HANNAH!!!!
BREAD...bread....sweet yeasty Gods I made bread with NO kneading...the same sort of bread I shell out 5 dollars a loaf for at the local stores because it *looks pretty*.
Let me tell you, once I committed myself to making this "no knead" bread the worst part, the most tortuously slow part was the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiittttttinnnggggg...
Luckily...or maybe not so luckily I timed my 18 hour dough rise for partly when I was asleep...which meant I had dream after dream after dream of "no knead bread". Images of it in all it's various stages. Was quite odd...can't say as I ever dreamt about bread before. But when morning came I was readyyyyyyyyyyyy....well ready to dump it outta the bowl for it's second but thank heavens mercifully short rise. And ohhhhhhhhhh it baked up so fine and crispy and mouth wateringly golden and I suppose *rustic* is the term.
This loaf of bread was almost too pretty to eat...but no worries we just closed our eyes in homemade bread ecstasy and shoveled it in. YUMMERS! Tasted as good as it looked, faintly sour dough like, moist and chewy with a crackly, crispy crust.

I baked mine up in a cast iron skillet. I had to manufacture a *lid* of sorts out of tinfoil, but it worked out good.


*sigggggggghs*
Unfortunately my sweet and barely blossomed romance with that particular loaf has already come to a delicious end...(translation: we ate it all, but the other way sounds less piggy)
However have no fear as I have 2 more loaves on the go, rising happily on my counter top as I quietly go crazy from the wait...er...I mean wait for a couple more hours to pass and I can bake em up.
So as you can see I have built a fairly good case for why in some occasions it's good to follow the flock, cause some times when that many people are doing something you know it's gotta be good. *snicker* I will reserve this same argument for the future when I think Alan and I will get matching tattoos AS we bungee jump,in the middle of a poker hand, chewing bread and smoking....well smoking anything, followed by a nice round of liposuctioning and spray-on tan. Cause after all if every one else is doing it......
BAAaaaaAAaaaaaaa.
BAAAaaad Sheep.